Opening Act
by osnapitzaGLEEK
Summary: Will gets the gang an opening act for a certain comedian, Jeff Dunham; What happens when a certain member of the Glee Club lets her nerves get the best of her? Can Jeff calm her down? xONESHOTx read&review!


A/N: Ok, so I just went to Jeff Dunham's live show yesterday, and he mentioned Glee, and so I decided to write a lengthier ONESHOT story involving him and the cast! Jeff is an awesome comedian for those of you that aren't familiar with his work. Youtube him, I know you won't regret it! By the way, this story starts with the group, but soon focuses on just Rachel!

Disclaimer: I don't own GLEE, it's characters, or Jeff and his characters! I just enjoy the concept of these as a match!

(Wednesday)

"Guys…guys….guys, can we simmer down, please?" Will Schuester's voice raised above the loud hum of his Glee Club. When he received no response, he shouted, "Silence!"

This caught the attention of Finn, who was currently preoccupying himself in a conversation between himself, Quinn, and Rachel. A smile grew, and he turned his body to the front, looking straight at Will, "I keel you!"

Will looked the ground, covering his face to hide the laughter. His head shook back and forth as he tried to regain his composure.

Finn began laughing, other staring at him and looking to Will for an answer to what seemed to be complete chaos.

Will, finally composed, looked back to Finn, "Thank you, Finn. Anyways, now that I have everyone's attention, I want to make a proposition to you."

"Ooh, we like propositions!" Rachel clapped excitedly.

"Ok, well then listen to this," Will started, "How would you guys like to open for a certain comedian when he comes to town this weekend?"

"Woah," Finn threw his hands out to the side, "Are you talking about who I think you're talking about?"

"If you're referencing to the man you quoted a few moments ago…yes!" Will smiled.

Finn stood, "Hell yeah!"

"Finn, language," Will warned, "but for the rest of you that may not know, we're talking about Jeff Dunham. So what do you think?"

"Is that the man with all the puppets?" Puck asked, shaking his head, "That's just creepy!"

"It's not creepy, it's creative!" Kurt spoke up.

"Whatever, man." Puck sunk in his seat.

"Ok, so," Will tried to bring the attention back to himself to detain the group from bickering, "Are we in? His people need to know by the end of the day today."

"We are in! Any performing opportunity would be good for us!" Rachel spoke happily.

"Sad to say it," Mercedes chimed in, "but Ms. Diva over there is right. We do need more public practice before we make it to nationals again."

"Ok," Will smiled, "I'll go call them right now. You guys chose a song."

Santana walked to the front of the group, whipping her pony as she walked. Spinning around to face her fellow group members, she sat into one hip and spoke, "We're going 'Take It Off' by Ke$ha. No questions asked."

"Well," Artie decided to voice his opinion, "That is upbeat and will get the crowd going."

"And it'll get Rachel out of her preschool clothes," Santana smirked.

Rachel shook her head, "Although I disagree with your snarky comment, I do think that's a good choice. Let's do it! I want to learn to be sexier!"

"Yeah, you really do," Quinn added, trying to mask her rudeness with a slight smile.

"I can help her, you guys just focus on the song," Mike Chang, one of Glee's nicest members, suggested.

"Let's go!" Rachel stood and headed out the door and towards the dance studio.

Mike shrugged his shoulders and left. The rest of the group formed a circle and started going over the lyrics and ideas for dance moves.

Soon enough, plans had been made, moves were being practiced, and some of the members were working on harmonies.

Will came back out, clapping his hands to gain their attention, "Alright, guys, we're in!"

The Glee Club cheered and went back to practicing the song.

(Friday – The night of the performance.)

Rachel paced back and forth in the hallway as the rest of the group continued to primp themselves for the performance. She hadn't felt nerves in quite a while, but for some reason, her stomach was twisting in knots.

She began mumbling to herself, trying to take deep breaths in between. Being so focused on herself, she didn't hear the door open behind her. When a hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder, she let out a high pitched squeal.

"Woah," the person let go, covering their ears in slight pain.

Rachel turned around, coming face to face with the man she was opening for. Her mouth fell agape and she felt like her throat was tightening. "I…I…"

"You ok?" Jeff asked, his hands dropping to his side.

Rachel, still feeling speechless, shook her head up and down, but found that e couldn't lie, and dropping her head, shook it side to side.

"Well," Jeff scooted back and grabbed the handle to his dressing room, "Care to come in, calm down, and explain?"

Rachel's entire body felt glued to one spot, so she continued to stare at Jeff.

He moved closer to her, putting his hand on her lower back, "C'mon."

Rachel moved with his assistance and walked into his dressing room. Her eyes searched her new surroundings as she headed to the counter. Staring at her reflection, she tried to calm down. She glanced to Jeff in the reflection, watching him close the door and walk over to her.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what was going on out there?" Jeff sat down on the stool that had been placed there for him.

Rachel finally found the courage to speak, and taking one last deep breath, began to explain, "So, I'm a performer. I've been a performer since I came out of my mother's womb. I am born to be a broadway star…"

"Ok," Jeff smiled, "So what's the problem?"

"I don't know," Rachel threw her head back, "I just…I can't do this particular performance…"

"Why?" Jeff leaned his elbow on the counter.

"Do you see me? Do you see what I'm wearing? Are you informed at all of what song we are performing?"

"Slow down," Jeff chuckled, "First, I do see you, and without sounding too creepy, you look good. Second, I do know what song you're performing."

"Jeff…if you knew the real Rachel Berry, you'd know why this is so hard for me…I'm just not…sexy!"

"Every girl or woman can be sexy if she'd like," Jeff offered.

"Not this girl," Rachel shook her head, dropping her body over the counter.

Jeff stood, walking behind her, "Can I help you?"

"How?" Rachel turned around to face him.

"Do you trust me?" Jeff asked.

"I barely know you," Rachel's voice was just above a whisper.

"So you have no reason not to, right? I mean, half of America trusts me. Do you think you can for two minutes?"

"I…guess…" Rachel looked to his eyes, seeing the kindness shine through them. For some reason, she felt calmer in that moment than she had since the minute she set foot into the theater.

Jeff nodded and set a hand on each side of her petite frame. Smiling, he asked, "How does this make you feel, honestly?"

"A bit nervous," Rachel half smiled, trying to hide the blush that was threatening to show through.

"Nervous is good. Nerves can help you. Now," Jeff leaned away, moving to the side, "Show me some of your moves for the performance."

Rachel felt her stomach twist to knots again, but the minute her eyes fell on his, a calming sense fell over her. "Ok," she moved towards the middle of the room.

She started going through the motions, watching her feet instead of her reflection in the small mirrors.

Jeff stopped her after the first set of moves. He grabbed her shoulder, "First off, widen your shoulders. It makes you seem more confident."

Rachel felt a tingling sensation where his fingers touched. He was having some affect over her, but she tried to remain focused.

"Ok, what else?" She did as she was told and then waited.

"I saw some body rolls, correct?" Jeff stepped closer to her, "Get into the rolls more. When you're performing, you have to give it your all. As you belt those notes, let it show through your moves as well. I act like a complete idiot for the audience. But I'm confident. Confidence is key, Rachel."

"How am I supposed to roll better when I can't roll in the first place?" Rachel asked.

"Ok, here's where that trust thing comes in again…" Jeff set his hand on the front of her hip, "You ok?"

Rachel took a deep breath, "Yep."

"Ok, I'm not the best dancer in the world, in fact…" he paused, "I can't really dance at all, but…" he laughed at himself, Rachel giggling along with him, "but from what I used to see at the high school dances, you have to isolate, and then eventually let it flow."

The pair worked on Rachel's body roll for the next few minutes until Jeff decided to let her try it on her own, "Go ahead, try it."

Rachel mustered up all the confidence she had left and started singing the song out loud. She flowed through the movements and when it came to the body roll, she nailed it.

"Now that was sexy," Jeff clapped, letting a chuckle out.

"Hopefully I can do that on stage!" Rachel laughed, collapsing onto the couch nearby.

But as soon as she got comfortable, a voice boomed over the speakers, "William McKinley High School Glee Club, please come backstage."

Jeff leaned over, reaching his hand out.

Rachel grabbed it and stood up. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his body, "Thanks, Jeff!"

"Not a problem. Go show Ke$ha how she should perform!" Jeff hugged her, leading her out the door, "I'll be watching from the curtains!"

Rachel skipped down the hallway, "Let me know what you think!" She turned the corner and disappeared from his sight.

She soon found herself with the rest of the group. Squeezing through, she made her way to her front spot.

"Rachel, there you are!" Will breathed a sigh of relief, "Where did you vanish to?"

"Uh, well, I was getting some advice from a very polite, funny source."

"Great, well next time don't make us freak out and wonder where you are, got it?" Quinn shot Rachel a glare.

Without another word from a member of the Glee Club, the announcer called them on stage. Rachel led the group out, taking her spot in the front, center. Taking one last glance towards the curtains, Rachel spotted Jeff, shaking Will's hand and then looking to her. He gave her a nod, grinning. Rachel felt butterflies in her stomach, and looking back to the audience, fought yet another blush from appearing.

The music started playing and the girls sang out, the boys joining on the third line of the verse. They flowed through the moves, isolating each one, but keeping in rhythm. At the chorus, Rachel moved closer to the wings. As she turned to face towards them, she saw Jeff nodding along, laughing. Her confidence reached its peak, and before she knew it, she was back to center stage and hit her final pose.

The lights went dark and the crowd cheered loudly. The announcer thanked the group as they walked off stage and into the wings. Everyone chattered excitedly except for Rachel, who moved away from the group and began turning in circles to find Jeff.

Without notice, a hand reached from the furthest wing and pulled Rachel behind it. She found herself face to face with Jeff. "So?" she asked, "What did ya think?" Her breathing was heavy from the performance, but she tried to slow it down.

"You really want to know what I think?" he smiled.

"Of course! That's what I live fo…"

In a moment's notice, Jeff's lips crashed against hers. Jeff pulled away, "Sorry…I should've just…"

But Rachel caught him off as her lips met his again. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed him against the wall, her body pressing against him.

Jeff slowly pulled away, regretting it once he did, but smiling, he spoke, "I like performers like you…"

"And what is it that you like so much?"

"This was all an act, wasn't it Rachel?" Jeff's smile grew wider.

Rachel felt her cheeks become hot. She had been caught and she knew she couldn't hide this blush. "Maybe…" A giggle escaped her lips.

"I do give you credit…I've never had a girl come on to me this way before…I've only seen it done to others…"

Rachel laughed, "Glad I'm unique!"

"That you are," Jeff laughed, pulling her close and kissing her again.

"Rachel? Jeff?" Brittany came around the curtain, spotting them, "Are one of you choking?"

THE END.

A/N: So, what did you think? What happened after Brittany caught them? Let your imagination take it away! Hope you enjoyed! Review if you did!


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